So it has been a while since my last post (again). Let's bring you up to speed... I moved back to Minnesota from New York and I am now working at the tattoo shop I got my apprenticeship at one day a week. I'm still working retail. In fact I was just promoted, so I went from a super ghetto store to a rich suburban location where nobody knows how to drive, woohoo!
Anyway, I was at the shop a few weeks ago when I received a phone call. A man claiming that a tongue piercing he received about a week ago at our sister shop had suddenly swollen up to the point where the jewelry had become fully embedded into his tongue. I thought this was pretty strange considering that tongue piercings a week old typically don't do this. I also thought it was strange that someone with a fully embedded 3/4" length barbell embedded in their tongue could speak so clearly and legibly on the phone.
The man on the phone was extremely panicked and concerned, so I advised him to take some anti-inflammatory medicine and come see me as soon as possible. I assured him that I would be able to identify the problem and would do what I could for him. In my mind I thought this whole thing was a little off, but he was absolutely positive that the barbell was in fact embedded in his tongue, "I can feel it in there, I KNOW it's in there. I'm POSITIVE!" He told me he would be coming in very soon and hung up, so I sat and waited. A few minutes after getting off the phone with him, the shop owner called. He was basically repeating everything I had just heard, in addition to saying a few choice words about the piercer at the sister shop a half hour away (the words "drunk moron" came up a lot). I basically had to repeat myself to my boss, assuring him that I am going to do everything in my power to fix it and make sure he leaves happy. After all, bad reviews travel much faster than good ones.
The whole day went by. After doing a few piercings, eating lunch, talking to co-workers I had totally forgotten about the man with the embedded tongue piercing. I looked at the clock and saw it was about an hour until we closed and suddenly it dawned on me that this guy never came in. Strange as it is I actually go worried. I looked at my shop manager and said "I wonder if that tongue piercing guy is ever going to come. I hope he's okay". A few moments later the shop owner called the shop manager. They were on the phone for a while and she was laughing her ass off as she hung up the phone as she called me over to talk to her.
Apparently this guy called our sister shop in a panic, resulting in the chaotic phone call to our shop (which was closer to him). Apparently this guy decided to listen to his friends instead of simply driving the 5 minutes to the shop. Instead of checking in with a body piercer (free of charge), this guy decided to go ahead and take himself to the emergency room for X-rays (very costly). After going to the hospital, waiting for his turn, having a nurse feel up his tongue, followed by X-rays... the guy finally got his answer. The barbell fell out in his sleep. No embedded barbell. No infection. Nothing. He was fine. I could have told him that for free.
What made me laugh the most was that this guy actually called the shop owner to tell him all of this. You think that after all that chaos you would be so embarrassed that you wouldn't want to show your face in public... not this guy. He was a super moron. Still, I was happy I didn't have to cut out an embedded piercing, but I wish I could have seen the look on this guys face after the 'experts' told him there was nothing there.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Friday, June 25, 2010
This is why I don't date!
About 3 months ago I got asked out while I was at work... yup, at work. What began as a simple conversation about body piercings quickly manifested into small talk and a series of questions like "Where are you from? What do you do for fun?" and finally "Would you like to go out sometime?" I replied the same way I reply to everyone that asks me out, I told him I had a boyfriend. You might think this is a mean thing to do, but honestly I have been through way too much shit to accept a date from someone I have known for 20 minutes. Plus it's just creepy and rather awkward to get asked out at your workplace in general. If this dude had a brain in his head, he would have 'bumped into me' someplace else, like... NOT AT MY FUCKING WORK!! After all was said and done, the guy actually seemed cool about the whole thing. He laughed and said "Awe, that's all you had to say. I will see you around." I ended up going into the back room of my work and 'hung out' for 10 minutes just so I knew this guy was gone. Initially the dude gave me the creeps.
A week ago today, I went out to a big event in Utica with a few friends. We all had a killer time drinking wine, eating food and hanging out like normal friends do. While we were all chatting a man walked up to us and stood awkwardly close by, he spoke not a single word. He was standing right behind me and I couldn't see his face so I looked at my friends and gave them a look that said "What the fuck? Do YOU guys know this dude?" They both shrugged, so we naturally did our best to pretend he wasn't there. 10 minutes later he walked away and one of my friends threw up her hands and said "What the fuck was THAT about?" We all laughed, it was our best way to deal with the creepiness of it all.
The next day I went into work at 9am. It was a incredibly hot day outside, so everyone I spoke to was pissed off. Finally the other manager came into work, I was talking to her about how the day was going and briefing her on the projects I was working on when suddenly the guy that asked me out 3 months ago comes walking in. He said hello in a rather annoyed tone and stood at the front counter staring at me as I continued talking to my co-worker. Out of nowhere this dude decides to turn my day at work into street theater. "HEY!!!!" he screams, "What the fuck was the deal with you blowing me the fuck off yesterday??!!?" I looked at him confused and told him I wasn't here (at work) yesterday. Still screaming he says "No, yesterday at the park, I stood RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!! You ignored me, you acted like you didn't even know me!!! You know what, FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! I am done with YOU, I am done with ALL of you!!! I'm done with this fucking store!!! Done with this fucking town!!! Done with this fucking state!!! I'm moving to FLORIDA!!!" This whole time he is flailing his arms about, he stormed towards the door and screamed "Have a NICE day!!!" as he left. I looked over at my co-worker who was standing there with her hands up to her face in shock, I then looked at my co-manager who said "What the hell was THAT about??"
Needless to say I had to explain everything to the both of them, afterward all we could do was laugh about it. They could not believe that a dude I had met only once before, and very briefly at that, would react in such a psychotic way after feeling 'Blown off'. Normal people simply don't act that way. It was then I pointed at both of them and said "You guys see, this shit REALLY DOES happen to me, usually JUST me. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, this is why I refuse to date!!" Just for good measure I did inform local authority figures just to be on the safe side. If he ever comes back into my work again I can call them and have him arrested for trespassing, I could even get a restraining order. I just hope he doesn't come into my work with a gun.
All in all I discovered my new ability of finding out someone is a fucking psycho before even going on a single date with them. There was another time I blew off going out with a guy. After blowing him off I discovered he is ex-military with a lot of problems. Owns and deals illegal weapons and drugs, anger issues, memory loss, this guy even broke into an animal shelter to steal a cat that he later ended up killing and eating. And that people, is why I say "FUCKIN' UTICA!!"
A week ago today, I went out to a big event in Utica with a few friends. We all had a killer time drinking wine, eating food and hanging out like normal friends do. While we were all chatting a man walked up to us and stood awkwardly close by, he spoke not a single word. He was standing right behind me and I couldn't see his face so I looked at my friends and gave them a look that said "What the fuck? Do YOU guys know this dude?" They both shrugged, so we naturally did our best to pretend he wasn't there. 10 minutes later he walked away and one of my friends threw up her hands and said "What the fuck was THAT about?" We all laughed, it was our best way to deal with the creepiness of it all.
The next day I went into work at 9am. It was a incredibly hot day outside, so everyone I spoke to was pissed off. Finally the other manager came into work, I was talking to her about how the day was going and briefing her on the projects I was working on when suddenly the guy that asked me out 3 months ago comes walking in. He said hello in a rather annoyed tone and stood at the front counter staring at me as I continued talking to my co-worker. Out of nowhere this dude decides to turn my day at work into street theater. "HEY!!!!" he screams, "What the fuck was the deal with you blowing me the fuck off yesterday??!!?" I looked at him confused and told him I wasn't here (at work) yesterday. Still screaming he says "No, yesterday at the park, I stood RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!! You ignored me, you acted like you didn't even know me!!! You know what, FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! I am done with YOU, I am done with ALL of you!!! I'm done with this fucking store!!! Done with this fucking town!!! Done with this fucking state!!! I'm moving to FLORIDA!!!" This whole time he is flailing his arms about, he stormed towards the door and screamed "Have a NICE day!!!" as he left. I looked over at my co-worker who was standing there with her hands up to her face in shock, I then looked at my co-manager who said "What the hell was THAT about??"
Needless to say I had to explain everything to the both of them, afterward all we could do was laugh about it. They could not believe that a dude I had met only once before, and very briefly at that, would react in such a psychotic way after feeling 'Blown off'. Normal people simply don't act that way. It was then I pointed at both of them and said "You guys see, this shit REALLY DOES happen to me, usually JUST me. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, this is why I refuse to date!!" Just for good measure I did inform local authority figures just to be on the safe side. If he ever comes back into my work again I can call them and have him arrested for trespassing, I could even get a restraining order. I just hope he doesn't come into my work with a gun.
All in all I discovered my new ability of finding out someone is a fucking psycho before even going on a single date with them. There was another time I blew off going out with a guy. After blowing him off I discovered he is ex-military with a lot of problems. Owns and deals illegal weapons and drugs, anger issues, memory loss, this guy even broke into an animal shelter to steal a cat that he later ended up killing and eating. And that people, is why I say "FUCKIN' UTICA!!"
Friday, May 28, 2010
Paybacks a Bitch
Sometimes in my travels I have been able to use my shocking appearance for good. Often when you come off as a total psycho to someone they don't think twice about testing you. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... okay, it was actually The Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota. Anyway, I was standing outside smoking a cigarette when I noticed a rather unpleasant domestic situation unfolding in front of me, a mother screaming at her son. Her son was quite young (guessing about 5 or 6 years old) and I don't know what this woman's problem was but she pulled the shit no mother should ever do, she slapped her kid across the face. Her son began to cry, she then yelled at him and said if he didn't stop crying she was going to smack him so hard that his teeth would come out.
It took a lot of restraint for me to avoid walking straight up to this woman and beat the absolute mother fucking shit out of her and take her kid straight to protective services. Instead I just stared a cold hard stare at this woman. Eventually she threw her hands up in a cluster of curse words and her eyes caught mine. She stared back at me motionless with a look of shock and perhaps fear as I stared back at her in a security guard stance with a look that could kill. She finally broke the silence and shouted "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM??!?" That's when I broke into dramatics.
She stood about 15 feet away from me, I walked towards her quite slowly and kept eye contact the entire time with hateful eyes. I felt the numbness in my hands and feet that I often feel before a confrontation, along with the sensation of not knowing whether I wanted to throw up or scream. By this time I could see this woman's eyes a lot better, they were full of fear. I knew the majority of the feelings I wanted her to feel were now accomplished, but I decided to stop right in front of her and stare directly into her face... I then decided to take it to a whole new level.
I took a drag off my cigarette and cast my eyes down towards her son, who now had snot coming out of his nose as he cried. Her son was completely unaware of my presence. Once I saw this, I exhaled the smoke and reconnected with her stare. Her eyes scanned across my face, inspecting every piercing and then stared into my eyes with a look that said "please don't hurt me." I couldn't help it, I was fucking pissed. Suddenly a blatant lie dispelled from my lips. As I looked at her I said "You know lady. My parents used to smack me around too." Her eyes grew bigger as she gasped with what sounded like pure fear. I decided that I had better wrap this up before any other craziness came out of it. Before I left her, I took another slow dramatic drag from my cigarette and said "All I can say about that... paybacks a bitch. I then turned my back to her and flicked my cigarette into the street and walked back into the mall.
I really hope that this impacted this woman in some way, in fact I hope I traumatized her for fucking life. All I know is that is is never okay to hit a child, especially in front of me. Regular discipline, even spanking is one thing, but a full hand slap across the face in public... forget about it, I will put the fear of god into you. Just to be clear, my parent's never smacked me around as a kid, but they did find this story absolutely hilarious.
It took a lot of restraint for me to avoid walking straight up to this woman and beat the absolute mother fucking shit out of her and take her kid straight to protective services. Instead I just stared a cold hard stare at this woman. Eventually she threw her hands up in a cluster of curse words and her eyes caught mine. She stared back at me motionless with a look of shock and perhaps fear as I stared back at her in a security guard stance with a look that could kill. She finally broke the silence and shouted "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM??!?" That's when I broke into dramatics.
She stood about 15 feet away from me, I walked towards her quite slowly and kept eye contact the entire time with hateful eyes. I felt the numbness in my hands and feet that I often feel before a confrontation, along with the sensation of not knowing whether I wanted to throw up or scream. By this time I could see this woman's eyes a lot better, they were full of fear. I knew the majority of the feelings I wanted her to feel were now accomplished, but I decided to stop right in front of her and stare directly into her face... I then decided to take it to a whole new level.
I took a drag off my cigarette and cast my eyes down towards her son, who now had snot coming out of his nose as he cried. Her son was completely unaware of my presence. Once I saw this, I exhaled the smoke and reconnected with her stare. Her eyes scanned across my face, inspecting every piercing and then stared into my eyes with a look that said "please don't hurt me." I couldn't help it, I was fucking pissed. Suddenly a blatant lie dispelled from my lips. As I looked at her I said "You know lady. My parents used to smack me around too." Her eyes grew bigger as she gasped with what sounded like pure fear. I decided that I had better wrap this up before any other craziness came out of it. Before I left her, I took another slow dramatic drag from my cigarette and said "All I can say about that... paybacks a bitch. I then turned my back to her and flicked my cigarette into the street and walked back into the mall.
I really hope that this impacted this woman in some way, in fact I hope I traumatized her for fucking life. All I know is that is is never okay to hit a child, especially in front of me. Regular discipline, even spanking is one thing, but a full hand slap across the face in public... forget about it, I will put the fear of god into you. Just to be clear, my parent's never smacked me around as a kid, but they did find this story absolutely hilarious.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Core of Me
Hello everyone. Okay, so it has seriously been about a year since my last post. I am officially reformatting what my blogspot is all about. Since I am mainly working with general public again it has come to my attention that there is no shortage of idiots out there, and their opinions of my appearance. Normally this sort of thing does not bother me, but for the last year it has slowly been eating away at me. I seriously get some of the craziest shit said to me on a daily basis, and fans of my old entries are apparently getting sad about my 'lack of rants', so here we go.
Time and time again I think "This kind of shit never happens to me at the tattoo shop!!" and just like that, inspiration struck. I am by no means raising myself as some kind of martyr, nor do I intend to make people feel sorry for the crap I go through everyday. Keep in mind, it was a conscious decision of mine to have a rather extensive collection of body piercings and tattoos. I was quite aware they would put me in situations that were not always pleasant and that I was going to be judged by my appearance. People often think I am rebelling against my parents or severely neglected as a child, rebelling against authority, someone who was abused that can't 'deal with it' or trying too hard to scare people. Therefore, I feel the need to explain myself to the readers a little bit better and give you a chance to get to know me a little.
The cold hard truth and the reason why I have so many piercings and tattoos is because...... I honestly love body art. I have always had an obsession with art in general, so it made perfect sense to want to have it on my body. I have honestly sat and thought about it a lot, and that is the only answer I have ever been able to come up with. However, when I deal with someone I honestly don't care to explain myself to, the simple answer I give is "I have ADHD".
*DISCLAIMER: I must confess that if I'm dealing with someone that I REALLY don't want to talk to, REALLY bored, getting fucked with or getting hit on by a douchbag. I will make up elaborate stories (and for the most part they're hilarious). I think it was 3 months ago I convinced a naive teenager that I was a member of the Maori tribe of New Zealand. I told him I ran away to America as a pre-teen and therefore never received my Moko (for those of you that understand Maori culture or know what a Moko is, good for you and I hope I made you laugh).
Since I was about 8 or 9 years old I have been obsessed with tattoos. I remember finding some Tattoo magazines that my brother had brought home as a kid. It was there that I saw a person with these huge angel wings tattooed on their back, I remember thinking "That's what I want when I grow up!!" 17 years later, after careful thought, I finally got my wings. In the beginning I had no real plans for my body art, I began getting multiple piercings in my ear and pierced my nose myself. Mom and Dad were pretty cool about it, I'm sure they thought it was just a phase (I was often coloring my hair strange colors, which I grew out of for the most part). Mom eventually put her foot down and said "No More until you are out of this house!" and I wasn't too upset about it. I kept seeing my friends piercing and tattooing each other in basements with safety pins and stolen bottles of India ink from the art room. All I could think about was the beautiful tattoos and piercings that I saw in magazines and thought "I'm gonna wait and get something that is thought out and done professionally" (Yes, I also was this stubborn about having sex).
My first professional experience was when I was 18, I got my Eyebrow pierced. Over the next few years I got more piercings. I can still recall every piercing in order, what shop I was at and who did them. Originally for my 18th birthday my brother and I were going to get matching sibling tattoos, it was one of those things that never manifested. I wanted it to be my first tattoo since it would be his first tattoo as well, but after a year I could not wait anymore. I went to a local tattoo shop and got a very small tribal pattern that I drew up in high school. $60 and 20 minutes later, I had my first tattoo.
Everyone goes through a change after their first tattoo. I have made several mental notes about that over the years of working in shops. Whether it's pride, closure, dedication, love, feeling tougher, belonging or feeling more confident. It is always a very personal and sometimes spiritual experience. For me personally, I felt happier and somehow closer to myself. I like the way I look, I like how I feel when I see myself everyday. We live in a world where so many people hide who they are, a lot of people wear masks. I can honestly say with confidence that I feel I am not one of those people, how many people can say that about themselves? Without any doubt in my mind I feel truly blessed. I'm fortunate to have the coolest parents alive, a brother who is more like a best friend and a sister-in-law who is more like a biological sister. I'm happy to have had the opportunity to travel all over this crazy land making lifelong friends along the way. I am absolutely in love with this life I have, and I will never let the words of a few shallow minded people make me feel otherwise.
With that said, I hope you enjoy my new format and the new stories that come of it. I hope for it to give insight to just how ignorant and mean people can be to a total stranger, and possibly give readers a chance to look at themselves as well. In life we are always told that you cannot judge a book by it's cover, I just wish more people read the damn book!
Time and time again I think "This kind of shit never happens to me at the tattoo shop!!" and just like that, inspiration struck. I am by no means raising myself as some kind of martyr, nor do I intend to make people feel sorry for the crap I go through everyday. Keep in mind, it was a conscious decision of mine to have a rather extensive collection of body piercings and tattoos. I was quite aware they would put me in situations that were not always pleasant and that I was going to be judged by my appearance. People often think I am rebelling against my parents or severely neglected as a child, rebelling against authority, someone who was abused that can't 'deal with it' or trying too hard to scare people. Therefore, I feel the need to explain myself to the readers a little bit better and give you a chance to get to know me a little.
The cold hard truth and the reason why I have so many piercings and tattoos is because...... I honestly love body art. I have always had an obsession with art in general, so it made perfect sense to want to have it on my body. I have honestly sat and thought about it a lot, and that is the only answer I have ever been able to come up with. However, when I deal with someone I honestly don't care to explain myself to, the simple answer I give is "I have ADHD".
*DISCLAIMER: I must confess that if I'm dealing with someone that I REALLY don't want to talk to, REALLY bored, getting fucked with or getting hit on by a douchbag. I will make up elaborate stories (and for the most part they're hilarious). I think it was 3 months ago I convinced a naive teenager that I was a member of the Maori tribe of New Zealand. I told him I ran away to America as a pre-teen and therefore never received my Moko (for those of you that understand Maori culture or know what a Moko is, good for you and I hope I made you laugh).
Since I was about 8 or 9 years old I have been obsessed with tattoos. I remember finding some Tattoo magazines that my brother had brought home as a kid. It was there that I saw a person with these huge angel wings tattooed on their back, I remember thinking "That's what I want when I grow up!!" 17 years later, after careful thought, I finally got my wings. In the beginning I had no real plans for my body art, I began getting multiple piercings in my ear and pierced my nose myself. Mom and Dad were pretty cool about it, I'm sure they thought it was just a phase (I was often coloring my hair strange colors, which I grew out of for the most part). Mom eventually put her foot down and said "No More until you are out of this house!" and I wasn't too upset about it. I kept seeing my friends piercing and tattooing each other in basements with safety pins and stolen bottles of India ink from the art room. All I could think about was the beautiful tattoos and piercings that I saw in magazines and thought "I'm gonna wait and get something that is thought out and done professionally" (Yes, I also was this stubborn about having sex).
My first professional experience was when I was 18, I got my Eyebrow pierced. Over the next few years I got more piercings. I can still recall every piercing in order, what shop I was at and who did them. Originally for my 18th birthday my brother and I were going to get matching sibling tattoos, it was one of those things that never manifested. I wanted it to be my first tattoo since it would be his first tattoo as well, but after a year I could not wait anymore. I went to a local tattoo shop and got a very small tribal pattern that I drew up in high school. $60 and 20 minutes later, I had my first tattoo.
Everyone goes through a change after their first tattoo. I have made several mental notes about that over the years of working in shops. Whether it's pride, closure, dedication, love, feeling tougher, belonging or feeling more confident. It is always a very personal and sometimes spiritual experience. For me personally, I felt happier and somehow closer to myself. I like the way I look, I like how I feel when I see myself everyday. We live in a world where so many people hide who they are, a lot of people wear masks. I can honestly say with confidence that I feel I am not one of those people, how many people can say that about themselves? Without any doubt in my mind I feel truly blessed. I'm fortunate to have the coolest parents alive, a brother who is more like a best friend and a sister-in-law who is more like a biological sister. I'm happy to have had the opportunity to travel all over this crazy land making lifelong friends along the way. I am absolutely in love with this life I have, and I will never let the words of a few shallow minded people make me feel otherwise.
With that said, I hope you enjoy my new format and the new stories that come of it. I hope for it to give insight to just how ignorant and mean people can be to a total stranger, and possibly give readers a chance to look at themselves as well. In life we are always told that you cannot judge a book by it's cover, I just wish more people read the damn book!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Don't Touch Me!!
I can totally understand that people take interest in my appearance. I get a lot of stares, questions and stupid comments thrown my way by everyday people. I have accepted the fact that this is something I have to deal with by choosing to have 29 visible body piercings. Something I have never been able to get over however, is when people are so bold as to feel the need to physically touch me and my piercings. Most people have a space bubble, and I am no different. When people do this, I feel like they don't regard me as a human being anymore.
I was working at Hot Topic when I got my cheeks pierced. The piercings took a very long time to heal, and they were swollen and sensitive for quite some time. I believe it was about a week into the healing when a woman approached me in my workplace and said "Oh my lord, are those REAL?!?!" and began to fondle my fresh piercings with her dirty fingers. I think this was also the first time I lashed out about being touched as well, I remember pulling away from her and saying "Yes, they are, and freshly pierced. They hurt. I also have feelings, don't touch me." I remember her giving me a disgusted look as well as complaining to my manager about my 'mistreatment' towards her. My manager reacted as I hoped she was going to, she said "Well, I dunno how many other people you poke in the face, but around here we really don't allow customers to 'bad touch' our employees". She left the store in a typical "I'm right, you're wrong" bitch stride.
Another Hot Topic story came about when I got the outline done on my back piece. I couldn't wear a bra because it would have destroyed the line work during the healing process. So I ended up buying a few 'built-in' bra tank tops. I remember I was organizing a rack of pants when I heard someone scream "OH MY GOD! THAT IS SOOOOOOOO COOL!!!!!!" Then I remember hearing someone run up behind me and yank my tank top down. Needless to say, my boobs had popped out of the front, fortunately nobody saw anything. I quickly pulled my tank top back up and turned around to see a woman in her early 30's with dilated pupils and a huge smile on her face. I also saw my manager looking at the transpiring scenario with a look of disbelief. I felt like I had just been raped. This woman kept asking me abrupt questions about my tattoo. Asking a new question before I could even answer the one before it. Eventually she shut up and walked away. I don't remember much because honestly I was traumatized by this woman.
Sometimes little kids can infiltrate my space bubble. I don't mind kids so much because they are honestly curious and I tend to come off like some kind of cartoon character to them. I don't have much of a maternal instinct, if any, but typically I love kids that I'm not responsible for. Anyways, I was standing in line at a gas station when a woman holding a baby got in line behind me. She turned around to look at something behind her when the baby reached out and grabbed the large ring in my earlobe. Now, babies have some sort of freakish strength I cannot even begin to describe, this baby could have quite possibly hung from my earlobe just fine. The mother did not even notice until I had let out the standard "Umm, excuse me. Your baby is attacking me, help!" The woman showed little concern, and her friend had the nerve to take a picture before they bothered to unhook the baby. In the end I felt I was nothing more than entertainment for these people. To think, I could have been a hot tempered lesbian biker who was about to stab them in the face for them laughing, as well as insult to injury. I guess some people don't think about their life ever being at risk when they are in public though.
I was working at Hot Topic when I got my cheeks pierced. The piercings took a very long time to heal, and they were swollen and sensitive for quite some time. I believe it was about a week into the healing when a woman approached me in my workplace and said "Oh my lord, are those REAL?!?!" and began to fondle my fresh piercings with her dirty fingers. I think this was also the first time I lashed out about being touched as well, I remember pulling away from her and saying "Yes, they are, and freshly pierced. They hurt. I also have feelings, don't touch me." I remember her giving me a disgusted look as well as complaining to my manager about my 'mistreatment' towards her. My manager reacted as I hoped she was going to, she said "Well, I dunno how many other people you poke in the face, but around here we really don't allow customers to 'bad touch' our employees". She left the store in a typical "I'm right, you're wrong" bitch stride.
Another Hot Topic story came about when I got the outline done on my back piece. I couldn't wear a bra because it would have destroyed the line work during the healing process. So I ended up buying a few 'built-in' bra tank tops. I remember I was organizing a rack of pants when I heard someone scream "OH MY GOD! THAT IS SOOOOOOOO COOL!!!!!!" Then I remember hearing someone run up behind me and yank my tank top down. Needless to say, my boobs had popped out of the front, fortunately nobody saw anything. I quickly pulled my tank top back up and turned around to see a woman in her early 30's with dilated pupils and a huge smile on her face. I also saw my manager looking at the transpiring scenario with a look of disbelief. I felt like I had just been raped. This woman kept asking me abrupt questions about my tattoo. Asking a new question before I could even answer the one before it. Eventually she shut up and walked away. I don't remember much because honestly I was traumatized by this woman.
Sometimes little kids can infiltrate my space bubble. I don't mind kids so much because they are honestly curious and I tend to come off like some kind of cartoon character to them. I don't have much of a maternal instinct, if any, but typically I love kids that I'm not responsible for. Anyways, I was standing in line at a gas station when a woman holding a baby got in line behind me. She turned around to look at something behind her when the baby reached out and grabbed the large ring in my earlobe. Now, babies have some sort of freakish strength I cannot even begin to describe, this baby could have quite possibly hung from my earlobe just fine. The mother did not even notice until I had let out the standard "Umm, excuse me. Your baby is attacking me, help!" The woman showed little concern, and her friend had the nerve to take a picture before they bothered to unhook the baby. In the end I felt I was nothing more than entertainment for these people. To think, I could have been a hot tempered lesbian biker who was about to stab them in the face for them laughing, as well as insult to injury. I guess some people don't think about their life ever being at risk when they are in public though.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I'm getting tattooed!!!... I said I'm getting tattooed!!!... I'm getting tattooed!!... I'm getting a tattoo right now!!!
Something I commonly deal with at a tattoo shop are people on cellphones. I personally think cellphones are a wonderful device when used properly, but in the hands of a total fucktard... well, that's another story. Most tattoo shops I have seen enforce a strict rule of not using your cellphone anywhere in a tattoo shop. Sadly, I don't work in that kind of shop.
I am one of those people who get annoyed by anyone using their cellphone in public, especially when it comes to customer service. If I am standing in line waiting to pay for gas and the idiot in front of me is talking on their cellphone as the person at the register is helping them, I think it's pretty fucking rude. Here at the shop, I find it no different.
Today some idiot decided to make a phone call while he was getting tattooed. When you are attempting such a thing it is rather difficult considering there is an electronic device constanly buzzing at loud decibels. I got to hear this retarded conversation in ecchos. "Is Tyrone there......Tyrone...... Hello?.....I said is Tyrone there?......... Hey Tyrone, it's Gino..... Gino.....GINO!!!!....... What's up?........Sup?........ I'm getting tattooed dawg..... I said I'm getting Tattooed...... I'm at the tattoo shop....... TATTOO SHOP!!!!.....Yeah..... It's a badass looking........ Badass......... I said BAD ASS!!!!!!........ OK.........OK......OK...... What you doing later........ what you doing later........ what you doing later......... what you doing later.......Tell that bitch to shut up....... tell her to shut up......... tell her to shut up...... Bitch shut up.........Bye.
By the end I was so irritated I just wanted to throw the red swing line stapler at his head, and all I could think in my head was "Urge to kill...RISING!!" Seriously people, just STOP!!
I am one of those people who get annoyed by anyone using their cellphone in public, especially when it comes to customer service. If I am standing in line waiting to pay for gas and the idiot in front of me is talking on their cellphone as the person at the register is helping them, I think it's pretty fucking rude. Here at the shop, I find it no different.
Today some idiot decided to make a phone call while he was getting tattooed. When you are attempting such a thing it is rather difficult considering there is an electronic device constanly buzzing at loud decibels. I got to hear this retarded conversation in ecchos. "Is Tyrone there......Tyrone...... Hello?.....I said is Tyrone there?......... Hey Tyrone, it's Gino..... Gino.....GINO!!!!....... What's up?........Sup?........ I'm getting tattooed dawg..... I said I'm getting Tattooed...... I'm at the tattoo shop....... TATTOO SHOP!!!!.....Yeah..... It's a badass looking........ Badass......... I said BAD ASS!!!!!!........ OK.........OK......OK...... What you doing later........ what you doing later........ what you doing later......... what you doing later.......Tell that bitch to shut up....... tell her to shut up......... tell her to shut up...... Bitch shut up.........Bye.
By the end I was so irritated I just wanted to throw the red swing line stapler at his head, and all I could think in my head was "Urge to kill...RISING!!" Seriously people, just STOP!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
What did YOU do today???
Ah yes. When you are a female body piercer occasionally you get to do things that a normal female 9-5er does not get to do. Like see a full grown man naked, touch his wiener and then shove a 10 gauge needle though it!! For fuck's sake, it's days like this I sometimes question where I went wrong in life. Oh wait... I remember now... Kids, stay in school!!
This guy came into the shop a few days ago with his wife while she was getting a tattoo. They began to chat with me and upon realizing I was the body piercer they asked me a million and one questions about my job. "So do you do any 'down there' piercings?" the woman asks. I reply "Yeah, they come around every so often, but it's few and far between, it's mainly women that get those kind of piercings" she asked a bunch of questions about vertical hood piercings and it's benefits and if was really worth it. Eventually she began digging into her boyfriend about getting 'his junk' done. I could tell right away that a cock piercing was the LAST thing this dude wanted to endure that day, and I laced the conversation with how the piercing is $100 and that the reason it was so expensive was due to the 'handling fee'. They laughed and departed from the shop after the tattoo was finished.
Today the guy came back. Little did I know that the guy was friends with my boss and the 'go to' guy for anything printer or computer related for the shop. I was called to the back office by my boss where they were hanging out. I knew it was coming... "So, the wife won't leave me alone about getting the Prince Albert done, I was wondering if you would be up to doing it tonight?" I laughed and said "Sure, but are YOU up for doing it, you look a little unsure." Him and my boss went back and fourth for a while. My boss was explaining how the piercing procedure was fast, and that it didn't hurt as bad as he thought it was going to. An hour goes by...
It was now 11:30pm and the shop closes at midnight. I decided "fuck this, I'm gonna scare the shit out of this dude" and began to set up for a Prince Albert piercing. I walked into the back room where this dude and my boss were still hanging out. I looked at him, snapped my fingers in a high energy, Fonzie-like attitude and exclaimed "ALL RIGHT!! You ready to do this, bro?!?!" I saw him sink about 5 feet into the couch. He said "Wow. You know I just got really fucking terrified just now. This couch just became my best friend and my savior!" I looked at him and said "Okay dude, well I'm all set up. So whenever you wanna do this just let me know dude!" I snapped my fingers and did a Micheal Jackson spin/turnaround deal and walked out of the room. I could hear my boss dying of laughter, as well as the dude saying "Oh man... am I gonna do this?"
Eventually this poor guy had endured enough reticule from my boss and began to wonder the shop aimlessly with a dead, glazed over look. He then shuffled his way into my piercing room where I was setting up the final touches for the piercing. I asked him if my boss was going to take pictures of what was going down (as they previously joked about) and he told me "NO WAY!" I laughed and then told him to close the door behind him. I'm sure in his head, the sound of the door closing was some kind of epic sound to him much like a sealing of a tomb.
Everything was in place and ready to go, I was maintaining very good conversation with this dude (eye contact!!!). Eventually though, the had to take his pants off. Now I know from experience how fucking difficult it is to drop trou in front of a total stranger you are paying to shove a needle through a sensitive area, and I just knew this guy was going to have a difficult time. He looked at me and said "I have to take my pants ALL the way off?" I looked at him and said "Man, if there was any other way for me to do this that involved the pants staying on, I would do it. Believe me!" He laughed and said "I can't just, pull it out a little?" I felt really bad about laughing at this comment, but every guy I have ever pierced (outside of total perverts) have said the same thing. Finally I got him in the chair, I did what I had to do making the proper markings and began to explain what I was about to do to his manhood and how to breathe. I always find it difficult to hold up a receiving tube roughly the diameter of a pencil and tell a guy "This is going to go into your urethra", it always has the same effect, sheer terror!!
After I explained everything to him, he began to lose color in his face. He explained to me that he felt like he was going to pass out so I pulled off the gloves, pulled the garbage can next to him (in case he puked) and got him a soda. This is where it always becomes complicated. 60% of the time the client begins to have second thoughts, and they always seem to have this inaudible conversation with their penis, almost like they are apologizing to it. For the average man, this can take anywhere from 10-45 minutes. This whole time I am left standing in a tiny room with my back to a half naked man who is 'talking' to his penis trying to psyche himself up. The fact that my boss was standing outside the door screaming "You can do it dude!!!" did not help this specific case. Finally my client laid back into the chair, put his hoodie over his face and gave me (literally) a thumbs up. At this point I was so fucking relieved I managed to do the piercing at record time flawlessly. After all was said and done, he pulled his hoodie off his face, almost mad, saying "That was it?!?!?! Are you fucking serious??? God I'm a fucking pussy!!! Yeah that tube hurt a little but god damn, I thought it was going to be worse than that!!!!" I was just relieved it was all over and I walked away without having to reassure him that it was a 'good size' or any bullshit like that.
In the past I have found myself in situations where the guy is NOT nervous about getting a cock piercing, and this usually will send up a red flag for me. When a guy is not nervous it can mean a number of things, I usually wish this is because they already have a collection of genital piercings but it usually means they are a fucking pervert.
I had a guy come in who wanted his scrotum pierced and specifically requested me to do it. I thought optimistically that it was because I was new to the area and he wanted to check out the new piercer or simply felt more at ease with a female piercer, but this was not the scenario that transpired. He decided he wanted 2 piercings in his nut sack, and so I got everything ready. By the time I called him back to the piercing room he had already began to take his pants off, I thought this was strange, but I am also naive at this point. He sat down in the chair and said "Okay sweetheart, do what you gotta do!"
I cleaned the area and made the markings and had him approve the piercing locations. The piercing procedure itself went just fine, and when all was done I was feeling real good about getting over the phobia of piercing genitalia. I told the client "Okay man, you are all done, you did great" he looked at me and said "Yes, and so did you" he then pulled out a $20 bill and waived it in my face and said "Happy ending?" I looked at him and said loudly "Are you fucking kidding me???" he looked at me and said "Come on, just for a minute" and began stroking it, right in front of me. At this point I have completely shit a brick and could not believe this was happening, I yelled "Fuck you asshole, get the fuck out of here!" My co-worker immediately came running into the room and saw the situation unfolding and yelled "What the fuck is going on here?!?" I yelled back, quite upset "He's a fucking sick pervert, get him the fuck out of here now!!!" He was then grabbed by his neck and drug out into the lobby with his pants still around his ankles. At this point I was in the other room, understandably quite upset, I heard them scuffling and yelling at each other, in the end heard the guy confess to what he had done. I heard my co-worker yell for me to come into the lobby, and quite embarrassed, did so. My co-worker grabbed this man by the neck and forced this head down onto the counter as he yelled to him "You apologize to this woman, right fucking now!!!" he man screamed in pain "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! I will never do it again!!" My co-worker exclaimed "You are NEVER allowed in here again, do you understand??? How much does this guy owe you anyway???" I reply "$80" he responded with "Well it just got doubled, you play the lady!!" The man was pretty roughed up at this point, and without making eye contact handed me $160. He was then, literally, thrown out of the front door.
Come to think of it, the only other time I had a similar situation involved piercing a scrotum as well. Of course it was not taken to such a crazy level, but it was still a little unsettling. He was just a sexual deviant swinger that asked me to go out with him and his 2 girlfriends to join them in some kind of crazy group sex orgy. At the risk of sounding like a prude, there was absolutely NO way I was going to do this. I'd just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years and was not about to go on some slut fest with complete strangers (that were my parents age) to make myself feel better. Also, I am quite monogamous.
The best part about this specific encounter was the fact that I got to use a 6 Gauge needle on the dude. Now, I don't care how hard you think you are, 6 Gauge is fucking huge and it hurts (yes, I speak from firsthand experience. My 6G navel piercing HURT!!)!! The gauge is a little bit smaller than the diameter of a drinking straw. The fact that I got to shove it through the nut sack of a guy I already did not like, was just icing on the cake.
This guy came into the shop a few days ago with his wife while she was getting a tattoo. They began to chat with me and upon realizing I was the body piercer they asked me a million and one questions about my job. "So do you do any 'down there' piercings?" the woman asks. I reply "Yeah, they come around every so often, but it's few and far between, it's mainly women that get those kind of piercings" she asked a bunch of questions about vertical hood piercings and it's benefits and if was really worth it. Eventually she began digging into her boyfriend about getting 'his junk' done. I could tell right away that a cock piercing was the LAST thing this dude wanted to endure that day, and I laced the conversation with how the piercing is $100 and that the reason it was so expensive was due to the 'handling fee'. They laughed and departed from the shop after the tattoo was finished.
Today the guy came back. Little did I know that the guy was friends with my boss and the 'go to' guy for anything printer or computer related for the shop. I was called to the back office by my boss where they were hanging out. I knew it was coming... "So, the wife won't leave me alone about getting the Prince Albert done, I was wondering if you would be up to doing it tonight?" I laughed and said "Sure, but are YOU up for doing it, you look a little unsure." Him and my boss went back and fourth for a while. My boss was explaining how the piercing procedure was fast, and that it didn't hurt as bad as he thought it was going to. An hour goes by...
It was now 11:30pm and the shop closes at midnight. I decided "fuck this, I'm gonna scare the shit out of this dude" and began to set up for a Prince Albert piercing. I walked into the back room where this dude and my boss were still hanging out. I looked at him, snapped my fingers in a high energy, Fonzie-like attitude and exclaimed "ALL RIGHT!! You ready to do this, bro?!?!" I saw him sink about 5 feet into the couch. He said "Wow. You know I just got really fucking terrified just now. This couch just became my best friend and my savior!" I looked at him and said "Okay dude, well I'm all set up. So whenever you wanna do this just let me know dude!" I snapped my fingers and did a Micheal Jackson spin/turnaround deal and walked out of the room. I could hear my boss dying of laughter, as well as the dude saying "Oh man... am I gonna do this?"
Eventually this poor guy had endured enough reticule from my boss and began to wonder the shop aimlessly with a dead, glazed over look. He then shuffled his way into my piercing room where I was setting up the final touches for the piercing. I asked him if my boss was going to take pictures of what was going down (as they previously joked about) and he told me "NO WAY!" I laughed and then told him to close the door behind him. I'm sure in his head, the sound of the door closing was some kind of epic sound to him much like a sealing of a tomb.
Everything was in place and ready to go, I was maintaining very good conversation with this dude (eye contact!!!). Eventually though, the had to take his pants off. Now I know from experience how fucking difficult it is to drop trou in front of a total stranger you are paying to shove a needle through a sensitive area, and I just knew this guy was going to have a difficult time. He looked at me and said "I have to take my pants ALL the way off?" I looked at him and said "Man, if there was any other way for me to do this that involved the pants staying on, I would do it. Believe me!" He laughed and said "I can't just, pull it out a little?" I felt really bad about laughing at this comment, but every guy I have ever pierced (outside of total perverts) have said the same thing. Finally I got him in the chair, I did what I had to do making the proper markings and began to explain what I was about to do to his manhood and how to breathe. I always find it difficult to hold up a receiving tube roughly the diameter of a pencil and tell a guy "This is going to go into your urethra", it always has the same effect, sheer terror!!
After I explained everything to him, he began to lose color in his face. He explained to me that he felt like he was going to pass out so I pulled off the gloves, pulled the garbage can next to him (in case he puked) and got him a soda. This is where it always becomes complicated. 60% of the time the client begins to have second thoughts, and they always seem to have this inaudible conversation with their penis, almost like they are apologizing to it. For the average man, this can take anywhere from 10-45 minutes. This whole time I am left standing in a tiny room with my back to a half naked man who is 'talking' to his penis trying to psyche himself up. The fact that my boss was standing outside the door screaming "You can do it dude!!!" did not help this specific case. Finally my client laid back into the chair, put his hoodie over his face and gave me (literally) a thumbs up. At this point I was so fucking relieved I managed to do the piercing at record time flawlessly. After all was said and done, he pulled his hoodie off his face, almost mad, saying "That was it?!?!?! Are you fucking serious??? God I'm a fucking pussy!!! Yeah that tube hurt a little but god damn, I thought it was going to be worse than that!!!!" I was just relieved it was all over and I walked away without having to reassure him that it was a 'good size' or any bullshit like that.
In the past I have found myself in situations where the guy is NOT nervous about getting a cock piercing, and this usually will send up a red flag for me. When a guy is not nervous it can mean a number of things, I usually wish this is because they already have a collection of genital piercings but it usually means they are a fucking pervert.
I had a guy come in who wanted his scrotum pierced and specifically requested me to do it. I thought optimistically that it was because I was new to the area and he wanted to check out the new piercer or simply felt more at ease with a female piercer, but this was not the scenario that transpired. He decided he wanted 2 piercings in his nut sack, and so I got everything ready. By the time I called him back to the piercing room he had already began to take his pants off, I thought this was strange, but I am also naive at this point. He sat down in the chair and said "Okay sweetheart, do what you gotta do!"
I cleaned the area and made the markings and had him approve the piercing locations. The piercing procedure itself went just fine, and when all was done I was feeling real good about getting over the phobia of piercing genitalia. I told the client "Okay man, you are all done, you did great" he looked at me and said "Yes, and so did you" he then pulled out a $20 bill and waived it in my face and said "Happy ending?" I looked at him and said loudly "Are you fucking kidding me???" he looked at me and said "Come on, just for a minute" and began stroking it, right in front of me. At this point I have completely shit a brick and could not believe this was happening, I yelled "Fuck you asshole, get the fuck out of here!" My co-worker immediately came running into the room and saw the situation unfolding and yelled "What the fuck is going on here?!?" I yelled back, quite upset "He's a fucking sick pervert, get him the fuck out of here now!!!" He was then grabbed by his neck and drug out into the lobby with his pants still around his ankles. At this point I was in the other room, understandably quite upset, I heard them scuffling and yelling at each other, in the end heard the guy confess to what he had done. I heard my co-worker yell for me to come into the lobby, and quite embarrassed, did so. My co-worker grabbed this man by the neck and forced this head down onto the counter as he yelled to him "You apologize to this woman, right fucking now!!!" he man screamed in pain "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! I will never do it again!!" My co-worker exclaimed "You are NEVER allowed in here again, do you understand??? How much does this guy owe you anyway???" I reply "$80" he responded with "Well it just got doubled, you play the lady!!" The man was pretty roughed up at this point, and without making eye contact handed me $160. He was then, literally, thrown out of the front door.
Come to think of it, the only other time I had a similar situation involved piercing a scrotum as well. Of course it was not taken to such a crazy level, but it was still a little unsettling. He was just a sexual deviant swinger that asked me to go out with him and his 2 girlfriends to join them in some kind of crazy group sex orgy. At the risk of sounding like a prude, there was absolutely NO way I was going to do this. I'd just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years and was not about to go on some slut fest with complete strangers (that were my parents age) to make myself feel better. Also, I am quite monogamous.
The best part about this specific encounter was the fact that I got to use a 6 Gauge needle on the dude. Now, I don't care how hard you think you are, 6 Gauge is fucking huge and it hurts (yes, I speak from firsthand experience. My 6G navel piercing HURT!!)!! The gauge is a little bit smaller than the diameter of a drinking straw. The fact that I got to shove it through the nut sack of a guy I already did not like, was just icing on the cake.
And you think your job sucks!?!?!
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